


HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T

by ZeMegaShipper



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Because I do not want to spoil, How Do I Tag, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Not going to write trigger warnings, Proceed with caution, Sort of a Songfic, This is going to be very angsty., Unhealthy Relationships, so please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 13:50:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeMegaShipper/pseuds/ZeMegaShipper
Summary: "His and Virgil's relationship is what it dove to.A relationship most would consider a well built one.They both loved each other. No doubt. But that isn't the entire story."In which, Roman is starting to get overwhelmed by pressure and Virgil is slowly starting to lose hope that everything will work out.They're both about to reach their limit but will one of them stop the other when they make a drastic move...?Or will it be too late?





	HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T

**Author's Note:**

> I've said it in the tags, but this is going to be angsty.  
> I'm not one for using trigger warnings. I don't want to spoil things.  
> But I will say that this will go into some very dark themes.  
> Consider yourself warned and please proceed with caution.
> 
> I wrote this on Wattpad too, where I also said that this is somewhat based on personal experiences, but not relationship- wise. I simply saw this as a possible problem between Roman and Virgil's dynamics.  
> That being said, I still love this ship.  
> I just felt I needed to do this.

  _ **HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T- FALL OUT BOY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG1JY0rt2Os**_

 

****This story is going to be one that most would consider grim.

Too real to be true.

As is why Roman found himself in the position he is in right now.

Sitting on his bed with paper in hand and tear stains on his cheeks that had by now, long since dried.

As he stared at the ceiling of his room, he let his thoughts wander.

By now too tired to care which places they were about to dive head first into.

 

His and Virgil's relationship is what it dove to.

A relationship most would consider a well built one.

They both loved each other. No doubt. But that isn't the entire story.

 

_I never really feel a thing_

_I'm just kinda too Froze-_

_You were the only one that even kinda came close._

 

Drying off the tear stains, the expected knock at his door came and as Roman opened it, in came Vrigil, stumbling right into his arms, looking extremely pale.

And as said man tried to lift the other up, he began to notice blood drops sprinkling his carpet. In horror, he laid Virgil on the bed in his room and gathered medical supplies from his bathroom.

 

_And when your stitch comes loose_

_I wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz_

_And stuffing that comes out of you._

 

Roman, immediately knowing what to do, pulled up the sleeves of Virgil's hoodie, seeing them completely covered in blood. Putting pressure on the wounds, he grabbed a towel he brought and then proceeded with the rest until the wounds were patched up.

 

Then he laid Virgil under the covers, letting him rest.

Prince hated to admit that Virgil coming into his room like this, was a common thing to happen. He just wished that he could do more, but he was at a complete loss of ideas. As he'd seemingly been for months now.

 

_Oh no, no,no this isn't how the story goes._

 

Roman always brushed it off as a lack of motivation, but he didn't know for how for how long he could keep up the lie until people started to notice.

 

He can't be seen weak. He's Thomas' ego.

 

Roman had already brushed the thoughts aside as he got under the covers too when a memory resurfaced. First time this happened Roman said that Virgil should say the code word “the limit” so Roman could help.

"The limit, huh...? Can't say I, myself am far from it..." But as quickly as that had left his mouth he realized he couldn't think things like that. He had to take care of Virgil and that should be his priority. It's just the stress.

 

Little did he know was that Virgil was awake and had heard him and as he started to question if there was anything he'd done wrong, he realized that before the relationship, they'd never really gotten along from the start.

 

_**I love you to death but I just** _

_Can't, I just can't pretend_

_We were lovers first-_

_Confidants_

_But never friends._

_Were we ever friends?_

 

However, Virgil dismissed the thought.

Prince loved him, he knew...

He could see it in their eyes.

He shouldn't doubt him.

He was the personification of romance. And he knew Roman cared deeply. But then, the night he'd heard Roman talk of the limit... Was something actually wrong?

 

Virgil sighed. There was nothing to do now.

He'd confront Prince about it in the morning. And with that Virgil closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep.

 

_I took too many hits off this memory_

_I need to come down..._

 

The next morning as Virgil was about to get breakfast, Logan approached him, looking up from his book. "Oh, Virgil! Roman asked me to tell you something just now."

 

Virgil tilted his head a bit in question. "Okay, what was it?"

 

"He said something about being 'past the limit' and then apologized for some reason. Do you know what that means?" Logan asked. A concerned look crossing his features.

 

_Hold me tight_

_Or don't._

 

A chill ran down Virgil's spine as his feet started running down the corridor on their own accord. The corridor had never seemed longer as he approached Roman's door. "Virgil, wait! Are you alright?"

 

Virgil had tears brimming his eyes as he passed Patton on the way, giving him all kinds of concerned looks. "Kiddo, what's wrong-" Patton barely finished before Virgil found air in his lungs to scream. "Roman, don't!" Before Patton even realized it himself, he was running after the dark persona. "Virgil, wait! What's happening?!" But Virgil's tired feet just kept running on autopilot.

 

Meanwhile, Roman stood in his room, staring anxiously down at the item in his hand and sighed deeply. Knowing that there was no way out of it now. This had been going on for too long.

 

He turned, raising the metal weapon in his hands to the side of his head and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, love..."

 

_Past..._

_The limit..._

_The distance between us_

_It sharpens me like a knife..._

 

And he pulled the trigger as the door to his room slammed open.

 

_Oh a-a-another day goes by..._

 

It was merely seconds, seeming like hours, that Virgil stood frozen in the doorway before he threw himself towards what was now a corpse, holding Prince in his arms. His eyes let all the tears fall as he couldn't even hear himself screaming Roman's name.

 

_Oh no, no,no I'm pretty sure this isn't how the story ends_

_So hold me tight._

 

A thud was heard from the doorway as Patton sat on his knees. Eyes wide with tears that fell and soon he was hugged by the crying logical trait. Neither wanting to believe this was real.

 

_Hold me tight_

_or don't..._

 

And then, came the grief.

 

The mind palace had become quiet after the tragic incident. Barely anybody spoke.

 

Logan stayed put in his room. Almost never leaving, distracting himself with work to no end. He just didn't want to think. Because he knew where it would go.

 

A jar of crofters sat at his table. Unopened and it had been sitting there for weeks. His former love for the brand had now dimmed. He and Roman used to be able to sit down and talk for hours about it. Even if Logan, oddly, was the more passionate trait about it. He remembered the glint Roman used to have in his eyes when talking of these things.

 

And now, as he looked at the loganberry jar, a bitter feeling sat in his gut and he turned away, getting back to the overflow of work on his desk again.

 

While when we look over at Patton had been completely destroyed. He who was used to be known as the heart of the mind, felt a numbness settle within him. At the beginning he'd tried to stay as cheery as possible for the others. But that didn't last.

 

Once the fact that Roman was actually dead settled in a few weeks later, he couldn't even cry. His mind being too busy with chores and this routine he'd gotten into that was so...

 

Repetitive.

 

Get up, cook, check on the others, eat, nap check up on Thomas, cook, clean, cook, check on the new creative persona the mind still was building, do one last check up on everything and then go to bed.

 

He felt that he'd lost his purpose. He wasn't a moral side anymore. He was just the one to check so everything was in order.

 

And as he sat on his bed, about to take a nap, he looked at the pictures on his wall. His eyes reached two particular ones. One had him, Roman and Logan that were baking cookies. Well... If you call baking taking a photo when Logan tripped with the whole array of the cookies in hands. Logan's eyes were widened while his exterior broke for but only a minute. Patton approached him, trying to save both the cookies and Logan, but in the process, falling himself. Roman was closer to the camera, obviously trying hard to hold back his own laughter at the whole situation.

 

Virgil had been holding the camera, not wanting to bake but agreeing to take a few photos while they were. Patton remembered him laughing after. One of the few times Patton had seen Virgil genuinely happy.

 

The second photo was him and Roman sitting on the floor, being attacked by the fluffiest puppies they've seen. Roman, who had conjured them, had a huge smile on his lips as he was about to fall backwards because of one dog, loosing his balance little by little. Patton was being licked all over his face by two dogs, not complaining however and trying to give all the pats that he could.

 

He remembered Logan, behind the camera, were smiling so brightly and shaking his head. Patton couldn't help but fawn over it. He used to have a crush on the logical trait. Now however, he rarely saw the guy outside his room and Patton was feeling the disconnect. However he knew the love and adoration for Logan would never pass him by.

 

He still loved animals. Just not to the same degree. It always made him think of what once was. Baking was still okay. But now he did it more on habit than anything else.

 

Not even a single tear fell as he looked at the photos.

 

And as we take a look at Virgil now...

 

Well...

 

He never left his room. Only way he had any sort of connection with the outside world was because Patton came in everyday with food and helping him get to bed.

 

Virgil had just sat there. On his bed and only hearing the static in his head buzz. He made no noise. He hadn't spoken in many weeks now, he barely ate too. Patton tried to make him eat. Make him talk. But in vein and eventually Patton grew quiet too.

 

Virgil knew he should get up. But he couldn't. His body felt too heavy to. He couldn't even remember the last time he slept. The bags under his eyes that he used eye shadow for before, didn't even need the make- up now to seem real.

 

Virgil's head used to bustle with memories of Roman at first. All their bickering, all the times Roman came through with sappy nicknames and heartfelt moments. All the times Roman made him feel good and valid.

 

A single tear fell from his eyes.

 

Finally moving, and wiping it away, he went to his wardrobe to pick up a black dress suit with hints of purple as he felt his knees about to buckle beneath him but he kept himself steady.

 

He walked out into the hall and found Patton and Logan getting ready. Both wearing black suits but Logan's had dark blue hints whereas Patton had a dim gold. As they both turned to him, they gave him an acknowledging nod.

 

Months had passed by now.

 

And today was Roman's funeral.

 

They all walked in silence to a room they'd created in the palace specifically for that purpose and as they opened the door, they saw all familiar faces of facets Thomas hadn't yet discovered and at the front, behind the coffin, were Thomas himself. He couldn't see the facets he didn't know, but he knew they were there.

 

He looked tired. Simply to say. He'd taken the effect of all this and though none of the facets had wanted it, it made him fall into a depressive period in his life. The three sat down at the front. Patton going in first and sitting by the wall, Logan next and Virgil last.

 

The ceremony went on. As Thomas was finishing his speech he ended with "He was our friend. Lovely to all and as I sat here thinking of a good speech in his honor, I realize just how much how I miss him. How we all miss him. However... We have to all move on. That's what he would want."

 

He took a beep breath. "That being said, we will now let all of you come forward and say your goodbyes. Starting with the front rows."

 

And so six people rose. And Logan was first to go, putting his small bouquet of red roses on the coffin. "Though I might not be one much for the emotional aspect of things. I did always appreciate your passion for everything. You meant more than you thought here and we took you for granted. Though it might be too late to say, thank you for everything you've done."

 

Then Logan's dark persona was next up, putting down his bouquet of roses and giving his own speech. After that, it was Patton. "Kiddo... There are so many things I'd like to say to you. You weren't just a facet. You had fears and emotions... The list of happy memories with you is too long for me to say now..." Patton chuckled weakly and for the first time in months, tears started to fall from his eyes. "I miss you. We all do. Wherever you may be now... I hope it's better." Then Patton let his bouquet go and walked away.

 

Then came Deceit. Staying quiet for a moment and putting down the bouquet of red roses on the coffin and taking off his hat, pressing it to his chest. "You always were a good listener... Even if all I ever told were lies... Wish I could have grown to know you better." After that, he also walked off. Leaving Virgil to be next.

 

He held his roses for a moment longer. Staring at them. Then he spoke for the first time in months, his voice was raspy and monotone. "Princey... I could list off the things I love about you... I could always trust you with everything..." He paused, swallowing down the tears hindering him from talking. He put down his bouquet with the others'. "I just wish I would've returned the favor to you..." And so he walked off... Leaving Virgil's dark persona to go next.

 

After the ceremony was done, Virgil left to go to his room and to his nightstand, opening it and picking up the only item inside, then going back to his bed, picking up paper and pen to write a letter.

 

Once done. He took the item he grabbed from the nightstand, fiddling with the cold metal pressed to his fingers and mumbled a quiet sentence.

 

Looking up again and straight forward as he raised the gun to his head, a single tear fell before he pulled the trigger.

 

_"I'm sorry, Roman. I can't do this"_

 


End file.
